Radical Acceptance

Embracing life's flow through the wisdom of letting go.

Photo by Jared Erondu on Unsplash

“Learning to pause is the first step in the practice of Radical Acceptance. A pause is a suspension of activity, a time of temporary disengagement when we are no longer moving toward any goal ... The pause can occur in the midst of almost any activity and can last for an instant, for hours or for seasons of our life ... You might try it now: Stop reading and sit there, doing 'no thing,' and simply notice what you are experiencing.” ~Tara Brach

Reflections #16

When I say, “It is what it is,” I’m not just uttering a phrase—I’m embracing a mindset. It’s a declaration of radical acceptance, a surrender to the present moment, and an acknowledgment of reality. This expression has become my mantra, particularly when faced with situations beyond my control.

At first glance, “It is what it is” may seem like a frustrated throwaway line, a resignation to circumstances gone wrong. But for me, it’s the opposite. It’s a liberation from the need to control, fix, or change. It’s a recognition that some things are simply outside of my power.

My colleagues and close friends have often used this phrase when discussing their current situation, and I sense a mix of emotions behind it. Sometimes, it’s a shield against the pain of unmet expectations; other times, it’s a genuine acceptance of what is. I’ve realized that radical acceptance isn’t about being passive or defeated; it’s about being present with our feelings and honest with oneself.

When I say, “It is what it is,” I’m not giving up; I’m giving in. I’m allowing reality to be as it is, without resistance or judgment. It’s a strange freedom that acknowledges life’s imperfections and uncertainties.

In a world that often values control and solution-finding, “It is what it is” can be a subversive phrase. It challenges our need to micromanage and fix everything. Instead, it invites us to sit with what is, to observe it, and learn from it.

Radical acceptance has been a journey, not a destination. It’s a daily spiritual practice of embracing life’s messy, beautiful reality. And when I say, “It is what it is,” I remind myself to breathe, let go, and trust in the present moment.

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“Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power.” ~Tao Te Ching, Chapter 27

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May the flow be with you now and always!

Yoli