Breaking Free From Self-Judgment

Unfolding worth

Photo by Bart LaRue on Unsplash

Have you ever been in a situation when you have chosen to surrender your peace of mind to a core belief? Most of us have walked the path of self-sabotage and self-inflicted suffering. When given the power to take control, these core beliefs, such as “I'm not good enough” or “I'm a failure,” lead us to manifest more unwanted. One of these root thinking patterns that deeply affects the way we perceive ourselves and life, in general, is self-judgment.

Self-judgment mirrors unhealed aspects from our past, unintegrated wounds from our childhood.

For as long as I can remember, my mother’s criticism profoundly impacted my mind. She would point out my mistakes and question my decisions. She always found faults in my methods, saying I should have done it differently. While her intentions may have been to help me improve, I also noticed that she was transmitting her fears. I began to believe I was not good enough and somehow flawed and unworthy. I craved her approval, her recognition, her love. All I wanted was for her to see me, to acknowledge the person I was becoming. No matter how much I achieved, her criticism of me never ceased. I carried this mindset into adulthood, which held me back in ways I didn't even realize. I struggled to form healthy romantic relationships, take risks, and believe in myself. I was stuck in a cycle of self-doubt, always seeking validation from others because I never received it from her. But one day, I realized that I had a choice. I could continue to let her define me or find my way of accepting myself. I started to focus on my strengths, my passions, my values. I surrounded myself with people who uplifted and supported me. Slowly, I began to see myself in a new light. I noticed that I was capable, competent, and worthy. I saw that I was enough, not because of what I achieved, but because of who I was. And in that moment, I gave myself permission to finally be free.

Photo by Михаил Секацкий on Unsplash

Here is my poem about unfolding worth written in 2005:

In The Mirror’s Gaze

A reflection stares, a voice whispers
"I'm not good enough," the words begin to flow
A familiar refrain, a haunting melody
A symphony of self-doubt, a harmony of misery
Perfection's pedestal, a lofty height
Unattainable dreams, a crushing weight

Fear of failure's dark and endless night
A shadow that follows, a constant fight
But what if we could silence the pain?
What if we could rewrite the refrain?

"I am enough," a new melody begins
A symphony of self-love, a harmony that wins
With every breath, a new chance unfolds
To reframe the narrative, to rewrite the story

In the mirror's gaze, a new reflection appears
A confident smile, a heart that clears
So let me break free from the chains that bind
And find my worth, our true design
For I am enough, just as I am
A work of art, a shining star.

©Yolanda Valdés

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May the flow be with you now and always!

Yoli